when your friend is in a roast session and he gets flamed the fuck up and you trying not to laugh because you know it just cut deep

yo bomani jones’ face is fucking hilarious. he has the most animated expressions. i’m dying while trying to make gifs

when you getting the suck up and she hits that turbo throat mode and starts using both hands but you tryna play it cool

Was there ever an explanation to that video of those kids on the street rapping about how much they like sucking dick? I’m still troubled by that

oh, she thinks mispronouncing words on purpose is cute
—me as i lose swiftly lose all interest in a woman

carrionlust:

I….I don’t know how I feel about this

berry interesting

Anonymous
have you watched Curb Your Enthusiasm? its better than Seinfeld.

2cc48a:

man get out of here with this

August 27th, 2014 at 4:20pm EST, Tumblr user 2cc48a is wrong about Curb Your Enthusiasm 

in my head i want to be like “i’ll fuck this shit out of her” but in reality i’m like “i can’t even pretend i’d tear it up. she’d dominate the shit out of me. she throws it back one good time and ima go flying. too god damn thick”

I’m really bad at picking up on if a woman is a lesbian. They basically have to explicitly say it for me to realize it. Not even in a ‘trying to hit on a woman’ way, but just coworkers, friends, or acquaintances. Leads to many awkwardly landed jokes or implications by me.

Areas of New York City that are completely lame

that is all for now

queenbitchness:

Who wanna fight

pls

Business Idea

I go to people’s houses and measure their living spaces and yards or whatever and then 3D model it. Then put the models into their favorite games.

I can do the measurements, pictures for textures, and 3D models myself but I’d need someone to put them into games for me.

Imagine playing 1v1 death match in your favorite game in your own house while you’re in your own house. Shit would be sick.

Pls give me monies

  • Me:I'm very angry with you. You didn't have to do that
  • Her:if you were really angry you would be yelling and hitting stuff
  • Me:huh, okay
  • 2 weeks later
  • Her:I'm so sad. My dog died.
  • Me:if you were really sad you would kill yourself
  • If I tell somebody to guess my weight and they guess below 170lbs 1 more time I’m going on a slapping spree. Im gonna slap everyone in the vicinity for 1 hour.
    >tfw still a hungry skeleton even if I gain weight

    Is it bad I didn’t know this things were called ciggsarellos unt the Mike Brown thing?